Meeting Persephone

No fancy title for this post. I can't even pretend to want to be witty. I'm down and have been for awhile now. I'm not sleeping much which only contributes to the blues I'm firmly wedged into.

My father and I spoke last week. Actually we speak weekly and our relationship is improving greatly from what it was as I was growing up. I'm very grateful for that. He's more interested in having a relationship with me now that all but one of his children (there are 5 of us total - 2 from first marriage and 3 from his second) has moved out of the house and he's single again. He's lonely and I'm willing to take what I can get from a relationship with him. It was his father who passed away over the summer and I think that this too is driving him to want to improve relationships with family - especially when he can connect to someone who was close to Grandpa (his "new" kids really didn't know him at all). I have plenty of time and unlimited calling. The only draw back to lengthy conversations is his diuretic prescription. (sorry - weak attempt at wit)

During last week's conversation, I learned that both of the family homes are likely to be sold to people outside of the family in a short time. I'm devastated. Not by the loss of property but the loss of history and the loss of respect for where we came from. The siblings, my Grandpa's four children (all of whom are doing quite well for themselves), are unsatisfied with selling Grandpa's home to anyone inside of the family because of the financial blow that is happening from the sale of the family's original home. I'm going too fast here. Time to back up and explain and it won't be too bad - it's actually an interesting story and one that I'm quite proud of having learned from my Grandfather.

My family came to the United States as Russian Germans in the early part of the last century. At the time there was my great-grandfather, great-grandmother, and 2 great-aunts (2 of soon to be 11 children total - none of which had middle names of course who'd want to think of that many middle names?). Upon arriving in the States, they were ushered to Ellis Island, signed in, were examined, and hid the younger of my two great-aunts from everyone as she was 2 years old but ill and wouldn't have been permitted to enter the country. She was passed behind the backs of my great-grandparents and great-great aunt and uncle until everyone was cleared through inspection.

Of course my family spoke no English at all. They knew only where they were going - Laurel, Montana. The folks at Ellis Island pinned notes on their clothes with the destination written on the notes and sent them on their way to the train depot. Along the trip people gave them apples, oranges, and bananas. My family ate the apples and oranges, but were unfamiliar with bananas so threw them away not knowing what they were. They were ushered from place to place by kind people reading the notes pinned to their clothes and so, after a couple of weeks, my family traveled from New York to Montana without speaking English at all. That alone is a remarkable story - at least in my opinion. I'm inclined to doubt that it would happen that way in this day and age.

Upon arriving in Montana, the family set to work farming on land that other relatives who'd arrived earlier had purchased and obviously procreating like professionals. I do think that all of the children lived - if not, it was only one that was lost - and that is quite a feat for such a large peasant family.

After several years of working the family land my family was naturalized and bought a house and a piece of land from the family. It is/was a 2 bedroom house with half of a basement. Purchase price? $1. Eleven children and, for a short time, two parents lived in this house and worked their own land. At this time it was the American dream. Life was good and ever so much better than it had been in Russia.

My great-grandfather passed away but the family remained in the house. They survived the depression and all of the children grew and became fully functional members of society. My great-grandmother stayed in the house with 2 of the great-aunts and 1 great-uncle who never opted to marry. I had one other great-aunt who'd decided not to marry - a spunky feminist who moved to Denver, Colorado. When my great-grandmother finally passed away in 1976 the two aunts and the uncle remained in the family home - of course it was worth a great deal more by then than it was when they bought it for $1 from the family.

As is the normal course, the aunts and uncle passed away. The uncle passed just 2 years ago and by this time there was only my Grandpa and one sister remaining out of the 11. The house was sold at a greatly reduced amount to my cousin (1 of 13 of my Grandfather's grandchildren - I'm uncertain whether the grandchildren of the other great-aunts were offered a chance to buy it) for an undisclosed amount of money. I was thrilled that the house was staying in the family - that was all I cared about. Of course I tend to be sentimental and short-sighted about these things. My cousin buying the house was of course reason for fighting amongst other family members - he got it "too cheap" or the family charged "too much". Nobody seemed to have been happy with the arrangement.

Now it seems that my young cousin and his wife are no longer happy with the arrangement either. They intend to sell the house, take the large profit from the sale, and buy a new home for their growing family. Of course he wasn't raised around the family and likely has little knowledge of the who's and how's of the house - though I am not sure he'd care even if he knew. The other siblings are pissed as he will be walking away with a chunk of money they get no part of nor any of the other grandchildren.

I'm only heartbroken that this piece of amazing family history will no longer be part of our family. How our family came from where they did and have ended up being nothing but greed machines is beyond me. The house came into our family for $1 because it was important to look out for one another. It stayed with the aunts and uncle because they were the ones who should have been there - I don't think that was debated amongst anyone. Now it's just a pile of money that everyone resents not getting a piece of. "It's not 'fair'" is the current mantra.

And now that my Grandfather is gone, there is his house to consider. Stay tuned for part 2 of this melodrama....