Meeting Persephone

My family, like so many familes these days, is interfaith. In my home there are three people and three different "faiths" or "beliefs". I'm solidly Pagan working toward being Druid. My husband is essentially a Deist - whatever that means to him. My daughter is currently an agnostic after years of being bounced from this religion to that - sorry, Mini Me. Normally life goes along just fine as long as none of us (ahem - me again) become overzealous in those spiritual pursuits. I've tried very hard not to strain anyone in my home during this journey after having completely irritated and annoyed during my trial run at Judaism. I sit quietly now, being Pagan, purchasing books and the occasional decorative item that touches me in some way and say little to anyone at all except when the plethora of charities once again mail out requests for more donations and my husband cocks his eyebrow at me. They don't want to hear about it and I try to comply. I do the best I can.

The fact of the matter is that being of a belief that does require action instead of belief still places demands on everyone in the family despite it not being their own belief. Some of those demands actually end up working out for the best - like buying organic foods even though they're more expensive. They taste better, last longer, are better for us as well as the earth. But then I struggle with the fact that I'm not a contributor in the finances in our home and what right do I have to make this a priority when I'm not the one literally working to pay for it? My husband doesn't seem to mind but I struggle with it regardless. Cleaning is another issue. Using more eco-friendly products and techniques might be important to me but my teenaged daughter just wants to get the job done quickly so she can resume texting her friends and doesn't care to think about it that much. When it comes to her, my requests fall on deaf and decidedly stubborn ears. Do I have the right to force the issue when she is required to do the chores, it's my house, she's paying for her cell phone usage with the chores?

How much can we press our families with these choices when the principle is not theirs but our own? In the long run it may benefit us all as well as future generations (which my beliefs tell me will also be us) to do things that I'm asking for, but frankly not everyone cares about these things. Can I change the rules at this point in the game when neither of them have made these same choices for themselves?

I'm reading 'Kissing the Hag: The Dark Goddess and the Unacceptable Nature of Women' by Emma Restall Orr. I love the book thus far (I'm not too deep into it yet) but in the beginning it starts off with a bit of a story centered around what women truly desire above anything else. The answer to this question in the book is "women want their own way". At least that is the answer to the story.

Yes, I love to get my way. I don't know anyone who doesn't like getting their way. I do, however, know a lot of people with different ways of achieving the ultimate goal of getting their own way as well as how they feel about getting their own way. With that said, I'm only going to discuss my own way of thinking when it comes to this subject because I can only speak about myself with any authority and even then, it changes day to day!

First of all, I don't know if I truly desire getting my own way above anything else. It's something I've been pondering since I've been reading this book. Like I said, I love to get my own way but that is not without its conditions. I'm not a steamroller that flattens anything in my way to get what I want. I'm a guilt ridden person who feels truly awful if getting my own way negatively impacts someone else. So while I like getting my way, I also want those who might be affected by it to be comfortable with the consequences too. It can be something as simple as what we're having for dinner on to bigger things like what piece of furniture we add to our house. I want everyone to be okay with the decisions made. It's just the way I am. So I guess that getting my own way probably isn't my deepest desire.

I watch my daughter in regard to the same issue. She wants her own way - PERIOD. She will bully others into her position and have no regrets about it. Perhaps this is the ease of the young who've never really made life changing bad choices. She still trusts herself in her decision making capacity because she's never harmed a situation with a bad choice.

While I don't know exactly what I desire most, I do know that I'm not in it only to get my way. Perhaps being heard, remembered, happy... I don't know. But at the core, I am pretty sure that I do not desire my way above everything else.