Meeting Persephone

I'm trying to decide on a course of study. I buy countless numbers of books on a variety of topics. Some of these books are the "right" books and some are the "wrong" books depending on your point of view. I buy what interests me and helps me to grow or understand. There is nothing wrong with learning through books though I have no real direction either. I'm not exactly goal oriented but I'd like there to be a purpose at this point of my studies. Personal achievement if nothing else though I'm sure there'd be a great deal more to it when I do finally tackle a more formal study.

I had wanted to try some of the exercises on Bobcat's website but I just do not seem to have the self-motivation to keep with it. I tried to persuade my daughter, husband and a friend all on separate occasions to join me in the programs listed on Bobcat's site but nobody was interested. Story of my life - at least when it comes to the spiritual. There is no certain curriculum involved in her programs (or those from other contributors) and so I've had a hard time pushing myself to 'get with the program' and just do it for myself. I know myself well enough to know that I need something with a bit more structure. I need something that is semi-goal oriented where accomplishments are somehow acknowledged, even if only by me. I need to feel that somehow I'm taking steps toward something despite the fact that knowledge in its own rite is a step toward something.

I'm not at all saying that a path need have an apparent structure or goal. In fact I think that defies the work I've put into things up to this point. The idea of striving toward a finish line defeats the purpose of enjoying the journey. There should be no finish line involved because once we know it all and have nothing more to learn we stagnate and cease to grow. I don't care to reach that point and admit that I have a long way to go before I get there.

That's why I'm leaning toward the OBOD program. From what I've read and understand of it through discussions on message boards, there is a great deal of freedom in the OBOD program but it still has the steps that I'm looking for. It's a 'move at your own pace' course which can be a blessing and a difficulty when it comes to my own motivation, but I'm hoping that with the steps involved it will keep me moving along at a reasonable pace rather than giving up.

I've been looking over OBOD and its course for several months. I ponder for awhile and then put it on the shelf for a time though it's always in my mind. I do like most of the people on the OBOD discussion board. They seem genuinely interested in assisting and encouraging as well as offering helpful information. They want those who participate to be successful in whatever way that means to the individual.

I know that there are other courses - including several right here in the states. However, I've found that I'm more drawn to those actually located in the UK. They seem somehow less rigid than those organizations and courses offered in the US. I noticed the same thing when studying Judaism. Jews in Israel were nowhere near as high strung about their religion as those in the US. Perhaps there is something about being in the home of perceived origin of a path that seems to offer a sort of comfort that enables more relaxed approaches. I can't say for sure but I've found it to be an interesting dynamic nonetheless.

Through the OBOD course I am able to get help from a tutor/mentor. Together we would decide when I would be ready to move through each of the steps as I'm working. The idea of "reporting" to someone else is likely to keep me motivated too.

My husband and I have talked it through and agree that it would be a good and worthwhile endeavor. I anticipate being able to order the course in the next few weeks. I'm anxious to get started. I hope that I'm able to maintain that enthusiasm and keep with it. I really am over-due to complete something. My husband and daughter always have things going on in regard to work or activities. It's time I do something a bit more structured as well.

I confess that I do have a bit of fear with the Bardic portion of the course. I'm an intuitive person and just simply feel what's around me - accurately but it still makes it difficult to express in those ways of the Bard. I don't have the eloquence of speech or writing for great poetry or story telling. I have zero musical talent. My only real creative outlet is artistic and even then I'm not great at it - just adequate. I'll need to slow myself down and really take the time to pay attention in order to work out the Bardic course. Of course that's probably not going to be a bad thing in and of itself.

At any rate, that is what I'm up to now that health once again has come into our home. It was a very long week with everyone not feeling well. Time to get back to other things now.