My cat has started eating a bit more. Tonight was especially good. Whew! I appreciate the concerns, but the idea of having to lose her already really is more than I can stand right now. She's not in pain - at least not consistently - so I have a hard time with the idea of ending her life just yet. That time may come but it's a little early to contemplate right now. I've been there and done that with our Great Dane who developed cancer and it was the most heart wrenching thing I've ever had to endure. We stayed with her on the cold floor near the back door of the vet's office until her beautiful life left her body and the pain was truly primal for me. Even the techs that were there were in tears. Needless to say I'm in no hurry for a repeat.
In other news, I watched Craig Ferguson tonight and he actually scored an interview with Bishop Desmond Tutu! It was a really beautiful interview and Tutu was in rare form.
I've increased my personal library to the point now that I'm pretty much on a book-buying freeze until I finish those books I've already bought. Not a problem. I'm reading 2 right now - 'Kissing the Hag' by Emma Restall Orr (Bobcat) and 'Druids: Celtic Priests of Nature' by Jean Markale. I had to start reading the latter because frankly 'The Hag' is so intense that I needed something to soften the edges a bit for me. It's (The Hag) very emotionally demanding and while I appreciate being challenged, I need to step back and ponder for awhile between pages.
I'm pretty much emotionally wrung out these days. I'm not sure what the entire cause is but I guess it's a combination of several things. All I know is that I'm taking a lot more 'Calms Forte' than usual and I'm not happy about that. I've got no energy and no interest in politics right now and so I'm turning in on myself and going very quiet. I'm usually quiet but lately I'm abnormally quiet. Ah well. I'm sure it will all turn around eventually. I'm missing my Grandpa right now. He was my buffer and without that I'm sorta flailing a bit.. or failing. either/or.
Ach - enough of this bullshit!
Back to my books....
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3 comments:
grief can break you down like nothing else..and know that what your feeling is true and deep..that's your buddy..your kid..your supposed to feel this way..but know that it literly can take something out of you..so take care of yourself...wish there was more that i could do..
I'm glad to read that your baby's eating. You need to nourish your being as well. I hope you're finding comfort and a freshen-up of energy in your much needed personal time.
I'm mellowing! Thank you both. Sometimes it just takes a little time. I usually bounce back pretty quickly. :o)
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