Meeting Persephone

Flare up after flare up I sit here watching politics play out. The fear of not being re-elected grips our full-time politicians and permits them to ignore the pleas of constituents begging for relief obtained from a completely natural source that was deemed illegal on the basis of bigotry and racism. It's ok. Really. You cover your ass while I sit here in pain hoping for some sort of respite. I understand that your career is far more important than any quality of life that I might hope for. After all - I'm just a lowly citizen - unimportant in the grand scheme of your world. But don't expect me to actually vote for your self-serving asses.

Anecdotal evidence. Doesn't count. Unless the research has been done through the beaurocracy, taking years and years to achieve what individuals have already found for themselves to be true, it doesn't count. And if you have an orphan disease or two - forget it - your situation will never be explored because of lack of interest/funds. All of your evidence will therefore be "anecdotal".

Liberty. The freedom to choose for self as responsible ADULTS. Not asking for anything other than the right to choose for myself.

Infiltration. Not of one disease or disorder but many. Impossible to walk, sit, stand, rest. Painful to hug, love, kiss. Painful to be hugged, loved, kissed.

Too exhausted to play the metaphor game. Too tired to find prettiness to hide the true meanings within. Too pained to fake a smile for your benefit. Can't soothe you or worry about your discomfort with my situation. Too disfigured to blend. Tired of pitiful looks. Tired of feigned concern. Too far gone to care of the impression it gives others or how I seem somehow less than I was - I am less than I was. Less functional. Tired of proprietary approaches.

Karma. What goes around comes around? Except sometimes shit just happens despite efforts.

Balance. If life were fair, I would not be without this pain but my pain would be enough to alleviate others'. If it served a purpose that's the one I'd like it to serve. If I have 10, 9 would be without. That seems entirely fair to me. Nobody should have more than their fair share but what is a fair share? If one has more than their fair share then others should be able to go without.

The Trash Heap has spoken. And likely made no sense to anyone but herself. That is all.