Meeting Persephone

"Pastor Terry Jones..." "Florida minister, Terry Jones..." "Terry Jones, member of the clergy..." "Reverend Terry Jones..."

The media has had a field day covering the important Dr. Terry Jones - leader of a flock of 50 in Florida who intend(s/ed) to burn as many copies of the Quran tomorrow - the anniversary of 9/11. The fact that he has this title of "minister" seems to have helped to lend him an air of authority in his insane rantings of opposing Islam and the media has crawled all over him for nearly a week now waiting for the next words to drop from his mouth. Now we're hanging on every word to learn whether he intends to burn or not to burn depending on whether he's scared the bejeezus out of the Muslims in the US and talked them out of building an Islamic Community Center/Mosque near Ground Zero. It's just been so darn exciting! I'm sure Fred Phelps is gnashing his teeth because he didn't think of it himself!

Well here's a bit of information that I've not previously released on this blog - I too am an ordained member of the clergy. I know! Why would I not have made this obviously important piece of information public before now? Well I had no idea of the power it could wield for one thing. I was silly enough to think that simply ending my posts with 'The Trash Heap has spoken' carried a great deal more weight than signing off as a minister would. Boy was I wrong! Now I want to take command of the deference so obviously due me by making this announcement and reaping the benefits! Bow peasants and mortals and fear my might! Never mind the fact that I did this several years ago - I want my 15 minutes of fame and I want them now! After all, I went through all of the extensive effort to receive my ordination in minutes online much like Terry Jones and Fred Phelps probably did - why should I not be entitled to the same respect? In fact - I even did it twice which makes me doubly worthy of all of that awe damn it! (Oh - I'm not a Christian minister so I can say "damn it" - it's ok!) I haven't yet gotten my Ph.D but I am still double ordained and that has to count for something! I want to rule the world!

Wow! Sorry about that completely out-of-character moment just then. The fact of the matter is that I did get my two ordinations from those links I've provided. I have no intention of creating a flock of my own because, frankly, I am not a big fan of people and have no desire to be followed. I'm the anti-social socialist! In fact I'd worry a great deal about the sanity of anyone that would want to follow me (and we already know about the sanity of those who follow the other two nuts I've mentioned above) beyond this blog. I did it on a lark one day after pondering who'd perform the marriage ceremony for Mini Me when she gets married some day in the distant future. Not that she'd choose me to perform the ceremony for her but if she decided she didn't like the other options, since we have no actual affliation with any other group (nor do we need one) and wanted something more personal than a JOP, she'd have me as an option. That's it. I'm a priestess of one for one - ME! You can do it too in minutes (literally). Don't say I never 'complished nuffin'! hehehe

Back to normal now.

The Trash Heap has spoken.