Meeting Persephone

Sometimes you can tell a person's mood by the music they're listening to on any particular day. 







But at least I can end a mood well...

Without fail I am the most misunderstood person I know. Now I realize I'm practically agoraphobic and I don't know a huge number of people but even those closest to me will misinterpret what I'm saying at any given moment. It's frustrating to say the least and infuriating at best. Add to that my excessive blushing problem and extreme anxiety when I'm worked up and you might better understand why I seldom leave the house or initiate an argument/debate with people I don't know very well.

Imagine my unhappy surprise today when I found myself being called out on an internet radio show (heard nationwide) by the host over a comment I'd made in the chat room provided and he was COMPLETELY misunderstanding my point! Because the host is on webcam while the show is airing I had to see this man pointing directly at me and yelling about his total misunderstanding of my comment. Essentially he was arguing the same side I was but he was so enraged that he didn't read or process my statement correctly and so it got ugly. Of course my heart began pounding, my face turned bright red, my whole body was shaking and I was trying my damndest to make my point clear while typing in this condition! Instead his co-host/engineer demanded that I call into the show and debate this live with them on air meanwhile the entire chat room is going ballistic on me in the chat room and I'm a nervous wreck. I tried to send a message privately to the co-host but he brushed it off and demanded again that I call - so I requested the phone number as I couldn't track it in the rapidly scrolling chat room of people across North America typing at me in all caps!

"Hello, you're on the air with ____" I hear through my phone. What I said is totally lost to me - I don't remember a word except denying what I was being accused of even after I tried to explain. Finally I said "I'm saying the exact opposite thing you're accusing me of - I'm saying what YOU are screaming at me!" He apologized and laughed and then *click*.

Fortunately I was NOT on webcam for this entire episode. Blissfully he WAS! I watched him turn bright RED on air right before my very eyes!

I know my arguments inside and out. I do NOT lack confidence in my point of view on these issues (cannabis and universal health care specifically) but when I don't like to be the center of any attention - especially bad attention - it can rock me to the core especially when I am being accused of a point of view so vastly different from what I really believe! I'm UBER liberal (as you know) and he was essentially labeling me a conservative - just to add to the stress! I'm not an attention whore - despite what people might think of people who blog. I started this blog, overcoming a great deal of trepidation, to push myself to do something I wouldn't normally do. I don't regret it for a minute because I've met some really wonderful people through comments and on other people's blogs. But WHEW - that was an experience I hope not to repeat anytime soon!

I'm sure he's already over the episode. He does this every day for two hours and people like that can usually recover pretty quickly. For someone like me - someone who HATES being the center of attention whether it's good or bad attention - it takes a little longer. It's been more than two hours since the whole event took place and my heart rate is slowing back down though not back to normal. I'm only a little shaky now and my color is starting to fade back to its normal pale shade. My nausea is even beginning to subside. By tomorrow I expect to be back to my "normal" self. Unfortunately. ;o)

But the essential point I was trying to make was this:

Prop 19 will NOT take anything away from MMJ patients anymore than Universal Health Care would have taken anything away from Medicare/MedicAid recipients! When everyone is included how can anyone be denied? To say otherwise is just plain missing the point of the law and that kind of ignorance keeps too many people criminals that don't have to be! If they're telling you to vote "NO" - ask yourself why! And if they're giving you the "I got mine" point of view ask them why they don't want you to have it too! VOTE YES ON PROP 19!

And if you heard the whole thing during the show - yep that was actually me on air!

The Trash Heap has spoken!

Tomorrow there is a HempFest in my area. It will also act as a Jack Herer Memorial event as well as a "Free Marc Emery" protest (Google him). I'm attempting to attend (for the first time) if all things cooperate.

Couple of things about cannabis related events ~

1. Living in a very cannabis hostile state means that this HempFest will NOT resemble those that take place on the west coast. It's unfortunate but I'm not going to be at all surprised if there are excess numbers of police present. In Oregon, where cannabis is legal for medical use and has been decriminalized, you will have access to joints at every turn - take and enjoy in a safe, peaceful, friendly atmosphere! In Missouri - well they raid homes and kill pets so it's pretty safe to assume that there's potential for problems at any event centered around cannabis.

2. You can NOT judge a book by its cover at these events. The most dynamic person I saw at a recent NORML/Sensible Missouri event was a thin little wisp of a woman in tie-dye and dreadlocks who struggled to make every move onto the stage but once she finished speaking I found myself wildly applauding her poetry and tears were pooled in my eyes. On the other hand, there are a large number of those who are rather ridiculous and/or offensive. And then there's my husband and myself - middle-aged, relatively conservative in appearance, and comparatively quiet but committed to the cause moreso than anything else I've ever taken on before - despite being eyed with suspicion when we show up.

Being a very Earth-based Pagan I see cannabis as being very central to my own path. It's a solution for a great many problems we have in the world/country right now.

• Sustainable - Hemp is an annual crop and its use could eliminate the destruction of countless acres of trees providing paper products. Hemp robs Earth of very little in its growth and creates no erosion. Because it could be used as fuel it could also replace fossil fuels.
• Eco-friendly - Hemp requires little effort to grow making the use of fertilizers and pesticides unnecessary.
• Clothing - The fibers of hemp are extremely long meaning that cloth made from hemp lasts longer than any other fiber we know of and the fact that pesticides and fertilizers are not needed means that these things are not close to your skin or in your environment.
• Economy - Because of its ease of growth and little use of chemicals, hemp is a valuable crop for so many commercial and industrial uses.
• Nutrition - Hemp can be grown almost anywhere and is an excellent source of Omega 3s that are essential for health.
• Medicine - Despite what the government is saying, cannabis is an effective treatment for a plethora of illnesses and often, for many patients, is the only thing that really offers relief in many cases.
• Building - Green builders are learning to make nearly all construction items from hemp - bricks, concrete, boards, and insulation (just for starters). Not to mention - biodegradable plastics.
• Recreation - People drink and accept alcohol as their legal choice for recreation/relaxation but cannabis is an alternative (and a safer/healthier one at that) to alcohol.
• Body care products, pet foods, art supplies, detergents - the list goes on and on. Despite laws against growing hemp in the US, many creative individuals have been importing (legally) hemp and creating countless products with this wholly useful plant.

I could keep going but I think my point is made. Loving the Earth as I do I could not possibly brush off the usefulness of cannabis/hemp. The idea of trees being saved and permitted to continue growing is a dream that I'm fighting for in my advocacy of hemp. The image in my mind of neighbors sharing cannabis with one another like they might other produce from their gardens brings a smile to my face. The peaceful nature that can't help but permeate when people experience cannabis without threat of prosecution is a strong motivator. We might get there if those of us who care will continue to educate the uninformed about the sacred cannabis plant in all of its varieties and quell the irrational fears of once again making it legal for all of its uses.

The Trash Heap has spoken.

_______________________________________________

Update -

I ended up not being able to go to HempFest. Mini Me wanted to attend but worked that day so we were going to wait until she got off of work to go. Storms moved in and tornado warnings were surrounding the area. Considering that the festival was actually an hour away from our home and I could not get a response as to whether they had shut down the festival or not we opted not to go. Later on we learned that it had continued until its scheduled time so I was sad to have missed it but we did what we thought was right with all things considered. There are more opportunities for other events but their locations and timing make it difficult to attend. I told my husband that I will be going to NORMLcon and HempStalk in Oregon in the next couple of years though!

The week that we placed my mother-in-law into hospice we also inherited the puppy we'd gotten for her 6 months before. He's a Rat Terrier named Dobby (yeah, after the Harry Potter character). This puppy was a bone of contention for a large part of the family even prior to her cancer diagnosis but I made every effort to train him to her lifestyle so he'd be as easy for her to handle as possible. What we didn't anticipate was her deadly diagnosis or the fact that he'd be coming to live with us so soon after we'd gotten him for her. I thought she'd have him for at least a couple of years before we would have to face the time when she'd no longer be able to care for him. Obviously things haven't gone as I'd hoped. If I'd known then what I know now we wouldn't have gotten him for her.

Dobby's a sweet and smart pup but he's still a Terrier and he's still a puppy. He's extremely hyper and ornery. He has a lot of bad habits that my MiL tolerated but that I have no patience for (like chewing). I had 3 weeks to train him before we took him to her and in that time I worried more about potty training, sit command, and making certain he would not chew on her oxygen hose. If I'd had more time or had known he would be back here so soon I would have spent more time training him and focused on those things he does that drive me nuts.

What this little guy really needs is a little boy to play with. He needs someone that will wear him out daily with all sorts of activity. I'm not that person and my dog and cat already knew that. They are happy to rest all day long until Mini Me and my husband get home and will play with them. Dobby is less patient and he drives our animals and me crazy! Unfortunately he doesn't even get the play time he needs once Mini Me and hubby get home. For his sake I'm thinking we need to find him another home. He deserves to be in a home that suits his breed better than this one and the sooner the better so he can finally be settled after all of the stress he's had the past several months.

He's also begun howling. Calgon - take me away!

The Trash Heap has spoken.

"Pastor Terry Jones..." "Florida minister, Terry Jones..." "Terry Jones, member of the clergy..." "Reverend Terry Jones..."

The media has had a field day covering the important Dr. Terry Jones - leader of a flock of 50 in Florida who intend(s/ed) to burn as many copies of the Quran tomorrow - the anniversary of 9/11. The fact that he has this title of "minister" seems to have helped to lend him an air of authority in his insane rantings of opposing Islam and the media has crawled all over him for nearly a week now waiting for the next words to drop from his mouth. Now we're hanging on every word to learn whether he intends to burn or not to burn depending on whether he's scared the bejeezus out of the Muslims in the US and talked them out of building an Islamic Community Center/Mosque near Ground Zero. It's just been so darn exciting! I'm sure Fred Phelps is gnashing his teeth because he didn't think of it himself!

Well here's a bit of information that I've not previously released on this blog - I too am an ordained member of the clergy. I know! Why would I not have made this obviously important piece of information public before now? Well I had no idea of the power it could wield for one thing. I was silly enough to think that simply ending my posts with 'The Trash Heap has spoken' carried a great deal more weight than signing off as a minister would. Boy was I wrong! Now I want to take command of the deference so obviously due me by making this announcement and reaping the benefits! Bow peasants and mortals and fear my might! Never mind the fact that I did this several years ago - I want my 15 minutes of fame and I want them now! After all, I went through all of the extensive effort to receive my ordination in minutes online much like Terry Jones and Fred Phelps probably did - why should I not be entitled to the same respect? In fact - I even did it twice which makes me doubly worthy of all of that awe damn it! (Oh - I'm not a Christian minister so I can say "damn it" - it's ok!) I haven't yet gotten my Ph.D but I am still double ordained and that has to count for something! I want to rule the world!

Wow! Sorry about that completely out-of-character moment just then. The fact of the matter is that I did get my two ordinations from those links I've provided. I have no intention of creating a flock of my own because, frankly, I am not a big fan of people and have no desire to be followed. I'm the anti-social socialist! In fact I'd worry a great deal about the sanity of anyone that would want to follow me (and we already know about the sanity of those who follow the other two nuts I've mentioned above) beyond this blog. I did it on a lark one day after pondering who'd perform the marriage ceremony for Mini Me when she gets married some day in the distant future. Not that she'd choose me to perform the ceremony for her but if she decided she didn't like the other options, since we have no actual affliation with any other group (nor do we need one) and wanted something more personal than a JOP, she'd have me as an option. That's it. I'm a priestess of one for one - ME! You can do it too in minutes (literally). Don't say I never 'complished nuffin'! hehehe

Back to normal now.

The Trash Heap has spoken.

I admit I'm not a fan of Kansas. I considered it unfortunate that between our home and my mother-in-law's was this enormous empty state. Don't get me wrong - I don't mean that there is a lack of exciting city life to keep an active city girl (which I'm not) entertained on the road. There is nothing but flat emptiness from one end of the state to the other. No mountains. No water. Very few trees. A great deal of corn and a small section of sunflower growth out on the extreme western edge are all the "natural" beauty this state has to offer. To me the most exciting part of the 6 hour drive on that miserably straight flat interstate is the sight of the wind farm between Salina and Hays and that doesn't come until nearly half way through. But when we drove home following my mother-in-law's funeral my husband uttered a thought just outside of Manhattan (the "Little Apple") that got my own wheels turning.

"What did the Indians ever see in this land that made them settle here of all places?"

Of course Manhattan is where Kansas begins to take on some of Missouri's geographic features and so, by the time he asked the question, we were nearly home and there was more to look at which I suppose softened my normal sour disposition toward Kansas. I gazed out the window at the softly rolling hills just beginning to be dotted with trees that would become more dense in a short time with twilight dancing in the light mists beginning to form in the shallow valleys and I could very much begin to see what might have appealed to the tribes in this land. My mind began to erase these modern white "conveniences" and a new landscape filled my eyes. Roads and buildings disappeared and revealed a more pristine place.

I saw a great deal of flat land that made perfect running space for the giant buffalo that would feed and clothe a nation of people through the winter. I saw space for ceremonies as well as clear path to track the movements of potential invaders or warriors from other tribes. I saw space also for neutral territories for the making of treaties. I could easily imagine large fires and faces lit around those fires sometimes smiling, sometimes tense with the hope of peace or rain or food, but always in the comfort of their nation of people. I saw young boys learning to ride their ponies and older boys learning to aim their bow while their knees dug into their horses' sides. I saw girls learning to clean and stitch hides for clothing and blankets.

In many ways, for those purposes, it was a perfect place for them - until us, that is. Of course now they are relegated to a tiny area of the state with all 4 reservations located in the northeastern most part of the state when once they'd roamed the entire thing. Before the internet and "civilization" (which is so seldom civilized anymore). Before interstates and cars. Before malls and planes. Before the stock market and insurance companies. Before all of that this was really a perfect place for a nation.

The other thing that people - I mean those really busy people who focus their lives on the "eat, sleep, work, shit" way of doing things - need to remember is that there was a time when people didn't travel across the country just to see what was there. It wasn't part of the culture to just take a jaunt and see how far things took you. These were a people that wanted to stay close to their ancestors and their tribe and the best way to do that (and for many the only way) was to stay in the land they'd always lived in.

I'm a mountain and tree kind of girl. I'm happiest in the mountains with plenty of trees around me and a river or creek makes it all the better. I find this to be the most beautiful that Earth has to offer and I'd have gladly lived in a cabin in Red Lodge, Montana if my grandparents hadn't sold it before I could buy it. But I can also find it very easy to believe that there was a time and a place where people didn't realize the Rocky Mountains existed and even if they had those gorgeous majestic mountains wouldn't have suited their lifestyle the way the plains of Kansas did.

Their world was small in a way entirely different than ours. It was small by choice and out of necessity. Ours is small because of "progress". What's the difference? They were contented and we are seldom content. Beauty to them was acceptance of the gifts around them. Beauty to us is the elimination of whatever we find to be offensive, "ugly", or undesirable and what we allow to exist after that is "beautiful". We will pick a spot we find to be beautiful and then fence it off, rearrange the order of growth in the yard, add a home that is far too large for what we really need and have finally created something beautiful. We do the same thing with appearances of people. Don't like your butt? There's a doctor that will reshape it for you. Have an unfortunate gap between your teeth? There's a dentist just dying to place veneers on them for you. Where we worry about asthetics they worried about strength and wisdom. While we worry about money they worried about survival of their entire people.

Who's richer?

The Trash Heap has spoken.

"When even one American - who has done nothing wrong - is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth, then all Americans are in peril." - Harry S. Truman

"Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself; and where they are, they should be changed. Nowhere is this more clear to me than in the laws against possession of marihuana in private for personal use… Therefore, I support legislation amending Federal law to eliminate all Federal criminal penalties for the possession of up to one ounce of marihuana."
- President Jimmy Carter, Speech delivered to Congress, 1977

"The lesson has already been learned with alcohol prohibition. We tried to engineer an alcohol-free society and ended up with huge criminal enterprises, government corruption, children lured into organized crime and random violence that took the lives of countless innocent people."
- Kurt Schmoke, Mayor of Baltimore

"Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?"
- Henry Ford

"Estimates suggest that from 20 to 50 million Americans routinely, albeit illegally, smoke marijuana without the benefit of direct medical supervision. Yet, despite this long history of use and the extraordinarily high numbers of social smokers, there are simply no credible reports to suggest that consuming marijuana has caused a single death. By contrast, aspirin, a commonly used, over-the-counter medicine, causes hundreds of deaths each year."
- DEA Administrative Law Judge Francis L. Young

"A smoker would theoretically have to consume nearly fifteen hundred pounds of marijuana within about 15 minutes to induce a lethal response... In strict medical terms, marijuana is far safer than many of the foods we commonly consume. For example, eating ten raw potatoes can result in a toxic response. By comparison, it is physically impossible to eat enough marijuana to induce death."
- DEA Administrative Law Judge Francis L. Young

"Since you (US "drug tsar" McCaffrey) control a federal budget that has just been increased from $17.8 billion last year to $19.2 billion this year, is asking people like you if we should continue with our nation's current drug policy like a person asking a barber if one needs a haircut?"
- Judge James P. Gray, Orange Country, California, Los Angeles Times, 29 March 2000

"It is not the function of our Government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the function of the citizen to keep the Government from falling into error."
- U.S. Supreme Court, in American Communications Association v. Douds, 339 U.S. 382,442

"Prohibition... goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."
- Abraham Lincoln, December 1840


"Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others... he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current that sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
- Robert F. Kennedy

"When governments fear the people there is liberty. When the people fear the government there is tyranny."
- Thomas Jefferson

"There is no greater tyranny, than that which is perpetrated under the shield of law and in the name of justice"
- Montesquieu

"The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in this country is closely connected with this."
- Albert Einstein, "My First Impression of the USA," 1921

"The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world."
- Carl Sagan

"You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600."
- Peter McWilliams, Author of "Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do"

"I do smoke, but I don't go through all this trouble just because I want to make my drug of choice legal. It's about personal freedom. We should have the right in this country to do what we want, if we don't hurt anybody. Seventy-two million people in this country have smoked pot. Eighteen to 20 million in the last year. These people should not be treated as criminals."
- Woody Harrelson

"I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . But never at dusk."
- Steve Martin

"Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing."
- Harry J. Anslinger, 1948, Federal Bureau of Narcotics Chief, 1948 (couldn't resist that one considering that just before this he was threatening that it made smokers angry aggressive and murderous)

"I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?"
- Willie Nelson

"Freedom of consciousness and thought should be a fundamental liberty, yet this is what truly frightens those who favor the drug war. Cannabis is a powerful tool in exploring consciousness and reality, one that is healthy and safe for the vast majority. Those who would punish and imprison us for cannabis have been lied to and misled. Our task is to educate them with truth and love."
- Paul Stanford

"Totalitarianism is when people believe they can punish their way to perfection."
- House Speaker Newt Gingrich, at a President's Day Republican fundraiser, May 1998

"Corruptisima republica plurimae leges." (The more corrupt a republic, the more laws.) - Tacitus, Annals III 27

"Narcotics police are an enormous, corrupt international bureaucracy... and now fund a coterie of researchers who provide them with 'scientific support'... fanatics who distort the legitimate research of others... The anti-marijuana campaign is a cancerous tissue of lies, undermining law enforcement, aggravating the drug problem, depriving the sick of needed help, and suckering well-intentioned conservatives and countless frightened parents."
- William F. Buckley

”In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion.”
- James Reston, The New York Times, 1965

"In strict medical terms marijuana is far safer than many foods we commonly consume. It is physically impossible to eat enough marijuana to induce death. Marijuana, in its natural form, is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known to man."
- DEA Administrative Law Judge Francis L. Young

"My choice is what I choose to do,
And if I'm causing no harm, it shouldn't bother you.
Your choice is who you choose to be,
And if you're causin' no harm, then you're alright with me.
If you don't like my fire, then don't come around, 'cause I'm gonna burn one down. Yes, I'm gonna burn one down.
Herb the gift from the earth,
And what's from the earth is of the greatest worth.
So before you knock it try it first,
Oh, you'll see it's a blessing and not a curse."
- Ben Harper