Meeting Persephone

I guess that "recovering Christian" is a fairly common phrase within Paganism. So many of us were once a part of Christianity and through different experiences or realizations have since left it for something more suited to ourselves. Often times that is a Pagan path.

I am such a Pagan. I was raised and identified myself as a Christian for the first 28 years of my life. In a few short lived phases I might have even been considered somewhat fundamentalist (more mental than fun as we all know). The one thing that I did differently than most Pagans is that I didn't go straight from Christianity to Paganism. I made a stop at Judaism first for about 4 years.

I posted just before this entry about my rapid movement out of Christianity courtesy of my mind's workings. I won't go into that too deeply here unless it becomes necessary. Suffice it to say that my stop in Judaism lasted as long as it did only because there are a lot more details within Judaism than in Christianity. Then another series of epiphanies hit and I could no longer remain within that monotheistic/patriarchal religion either. But this is all territory I've pretty much covered before in this blog.

What I remain curious about today is this inherent animosity that still permeates so many Pagans' thinking even after leaving Christianity. Who is the anger toward? Why hold onto it? Is it a renewable resource and therefore, as Pagans, we must continue to utilize it to its fullest extent? That was a joke. It seems so many of us would like to lump all Christians, Christianity, Catholics, The Church into one big blob and do to them exactly what they do to us in their ignorance of who we are.

Oh wait. Did I just say that? Yep! I did. If we insist on placing them all into the same mold how can we possibly protest when they insist on describing us all as what they perceive us to be? We are different than they are in the sense that we have refused to remain ignorant. We have typically educated ourselves about not only our new paths but about theirs too. I'd be inclined to believe that a great many of us know more about their religion than they do and I have encountered just such proof of that.

That is why it bothers me to encounter so much anti-Christian rhetoric within the Pagan community. We may have left Christianity because we didn't like what it was but most of us sought out something that was to our liking and nurtured whatever part of ourselves was in need and hopefully found something that nutured our whole selves. We should no longer be "recovering Christians" but fully and completely Pagan. Not "not Christian" but totally Pagan. Ours are not negative religions that only exist as a result of not being another religion but full and beautiful paths unto themselves. It's time we get to that.

So how do we move past the resentments and become Pagans instead of "recovering Christians"? In 12 easy steps! LOL I'm kidding - well maybe not. But I do think that there are steps that we can recognize about what we have gone through and might help let go of some of that.

1. Stop placing blame. Whether it is for time wasted, feeling duped, low self-esteem as a result of the teachings, deprivation of numerous things or whatever else we feel we lost as a result of being Christians for part of our lives it's time to let it go. Nobody who started us out in that religion did so out of malice. Despite what we know about the religion after educating ourselves, they did what they did with good intentions even if it was in ignorance. We're on a new path now - time to move on.
2. Stop lumping all Christians into the same category. I have some pretty hateful memories of Christian encounters myself, but I also have a lot of memories of some wonderful people including members of my own family. They aren't all cut from the same fabric any more than we are. There are some very progressive denominations within Christianity and it's time to stop identifying them as something that they aren't.
3. We cannot be fully Pagan if we leave a piece of ourselves attached to Christianity. If the work is not done in separating ourselves from our previous religion that must be done first. You can't step forward with one foot stuck in the past. Paganism will always be here - it's been around for thousands of years already - we can wait until you've completed the process of leaving the past behind and will be ready to greet you with open arms when you can arrive whole heartedly and ready for the future. If you are bringing a slew of hatred and resentment with you, what do you have to offer your new path?
4. Like it or not, we are each representatives of Paganism as a whole. If we spend our time ranting and raving about the lack of merit in Christianity that is what they see of us and assume we have no real path of our own but one that exists primarily to condemn their own path. It is a poor reflection on the richness our own paths have to offer.
5. Educate yourself. If I have mis-stated anything by presuming that we've all educated ourselves about our former religion and you haven't in fact done so - do that NOW! Having the information to refute their claims (even if you never use it) does wonders for alleviating anger toward them. We know they don't have the "one true" way and we don't profess to have the one true way for anyone but ourselves. Unless we fear that they have something over us (which they don't) there is nothing to be angry about there either.
6. Learn as much about your own path as you can. As I said, there is a richness in each of our paths as well as one another's that we could quite happily spend the rest of our lives learning about them and never have to contemplate the value of Christianity again. There are so many things that I don't know and I would rather spend my time learning, nurturing myself, and gaining more complete knowledge of things that pertain to my own path than worrying about what they're up to.
7. Be aware but not paranoid. Once you've made this decision for yourself to become wholly Pagan and no longer a "recovering Christian", maintain awareness for what is going on around you especially when it comes to the law. Not everyone is out to get us or out to take our rights away but if we feel that our rights are threatened we have the obligation to contact our elected officials and make certain that this does not happen. Only when we take responsibility for ourselves can we really own our lives and our paths.
8. Patience. It's really easy to fly off of the handle or become automatically defensive when answering questions about our new paths. Try to maintain your composure and understand that some people are genuinely curious about paths other than their own.
9. Find support. One of the many benefits of Paganism is the ability to be completely Pagan while being completely solitary. It's also one of the biggest downfalls as it's easy to begin feeling like an island unto yourself. Find other Pagans to communicate with (even if only online) so you don't feel surrounded by only all things Christian all of the time. That tends to grate on one's nerves in a hurry and unless we have a source of support in our "new" paths it's not hard to feel isolated and on your own.

Well I did hit the number 9 - not entirely accidentally ;o) It's not 12 steps but it's still a good number.

I'm sure there is a great deal more that might be helpful but I'm tired and so this will have to suffice for now... oh no, please don't beg! LOL

One other thing that I might add just as a personal opinion - don't incorporate Christianity into your Pagan path. If you can find those redeeming or endearing qualities within Christianity and really want to hold onto them, take another look at Christianity and consider going back. I'm personally of the belief that diluting one path with remnants of another serves neither. Of course there is also the resentment that is inherent in Paganism for so many previously hi-jacked traditions that were incorporated into Christianity as a means of bringing Pagans to that path. It no longer needs to be done. There is nothing wrong with being Christian and if you just can't let go of Jesus or the Virgin Mary, stay there and flourish within that religion. Paganism can and does stand on its own as a fulfilling religion without the aid of Christian deities just as Christianity stands on its own in a very different way. There are plenty of nature loving Christians out there who have their own traditions or rituals that don't require the label of "pagan" to make them somehow more meaningful. This isn't a matter of whether or not to cast a circle as some new Pagans ponder - this is much much different and if you can't yet see the difference then you probably aren't ready to claim a new name or a new path.