Meeting Persephone

There's an interesting theory circulating these days about "responsible" and "irresponsible" women in regard to health, pregnancy, and abortion. Oddly this theory is largely coming from the "pro-choice" side in the abortion debate. It's something I've decided to speak about today rather than covering general health care as I'd previously suggested I'd do.

The theory is thus - "responsible" women take contraception but in the event that said birth control fails, or they're raped (but previously celibate I suppose?), or they're too young to have acquired birth control on their own, or in the case of incest or the health of the mother - THEN abortion is an acceptable alternative for the sake of the mother and must be kept legal "for her safety" and because nobody has the right to dictate morality to another. Or so the argument goes...

Of course these same people begrudgingly extend the right to abortion to the "irresponsible" women as well. It's their duty as "pro-choicers" to insure the availability of safe abortion to someone even when they disagree with their lifestyle choices such as "using abortion as birth control". This way they can maintain their "pro-choice" status and maintain a degree of self-righteousness as well - though how that self-righteousness is beneficial or appropriate in any way I cannot say. But in the day and age of readily accessible birth control not taking it is practically unforgivable! Except that it is... forgivable I mean.

I could break down the financial expense of birth control and how few insurance companies actually pay for it but I won't. I won't bore you with the fact that many women cannot afford these measures to protect against a phenomenon (likelihood of which is during 1/6th of the typical cycle and less for those dealing with fertility issues) like pregnancy. I know that begs the question "then how do they afford abortions???" but like I said, I'm not going into that. Instead I'm going to talk about an entirely different reason NOT to use contraception.

First of all we have the legal aspect. The laws and "moral" dictates in medicine that assume that all women will at some point choose to be mothers and therefore the woman's right to reproductive control is neatly handed over to her physician and insurance company (if she has insurance). If a single (or even married) woman goes to her doctor and requests an elective hysterectomy (and to lesser degree tubal ligation) based on the fact that she never wants to have children (for whatever reasons which are irrelevant anyway) she is neatly turned away and denied the right to choose for herself because of the arrogant certainty on the part of the law and the doctor that she will eventually want to give birth and simply doesn't know herself well enough to make such a decision. Women are irrational you know. So the woman is forced into the position of on-going menstruation for no reason other than her powerlessness over her own body in the male dominated world of law and medicine. Reproduce - it's your job and deepest desire even if you don't know it yet.

Then there is another reason that women - yes, even responsible women - would not use birth control. Their own health. Despite the ready availability of contraception and the plethora of commercials espousing the benefits (and listing a mind spinning number of cons), there are dangers of birth control that are seldom considered. The fact that it always seems to lie with the woman as her responsibility, although irritating, is not the issue here. Some women might take birth control for years and, once they choose to stop, are shortly restored to their previous health and condition. However, for a great many (and seemingly more all of the time) the hormone manipulation of the majority of contraceptives continues to have on-going effects on the woman's health. Hormones are not just that excuse for being pissy a few days per month - they do actually serve a large number of purposes in the female body and can devastate the health of a woman if they are "out of whack". Taking "the pill", getting implants, having IUDs inserted - all of these and others can lead to life long issues with health and the INFORMED and responsible woman would know that. This is why it's so incredibly important to learn about our health and speak with our daughters about it - believe it or not they CAN handle it!

If that weren't enough - here come my REALLY unpopular opinions...

1 - fetuses are parasites. I'm not saying that to be funny because I don't think it is. Having been through a WANTED but very difficult pregnancy (and suffering the effects to this day) I am all too familiar with the often negative effects of pregnancy on a woman. The fetus feeds off of the woman for 9 months - stripping nutrients, bone, etc. for the entire time and forever changing the body of the woman. If you want to be pregnant this is a parasite you would welcome and celebrate (I did despite the difficulty). If you do NOT want to be pregnant this is an infestation and to require anyone to succomb to a parasite and sacrifice their own health and safety for the sake of a parasite is irrational and immoral. If your dog had worms you would treat it for the safety and health of your dog.

2 - UNWANTED pregnancy is akin to a sexually transmitted disease. For those who didn't want or plan to become pregnant (despite the fact that everyone else seems to think they've been given a gift... or had "options" available to prevent it) it's a tragedy. They are then left with nothing but difficult choices to make regarding this occurrence.

Make no mistake about it. The choices for women regarding their reproductive health are less than acceptable and when the unthinkable occurs they are required to make unbearable decisions. I've known several women who've had abortions and not one went into it whistling and happy. Add to it the fact that there are numbers of inconsiderate judgmental asses standing out front of clinics condemning these women and it's an ordeal that men and many women never have to encounter - lucky for them.

Look, I wanted to be a mother. I knew that from a very young age. Marriage I was far less certain of but my determination to be a mom was unshakable. I adore my daughter beyond reason as anyone who reads this blog will know without doubt. However, I cope with countless and debilitating health issues to this day and in large part they were exacerbated if not completely brought on by pregnancy. If someone is actually made aware of those risks (not only to themselves but to potential children they might have) and chooses not to reproduce OR use hormone manipulation in contraception how dare anyone condemn them? My choice is for me - not for everyone else just simply because I have a belief or a feeling. I do not have the right to inflict my will, opinions, or choices on someone else. The lawmakers and physicians would do well to remember that fact themselves not to mention the self-righteous asses fighting against women's rights and protesting outside of clinics - I refuse to call these idiots "pro-lifers" because they aren't for all life, just those they select worthwhile!

The "pro-choicers" have one thing right. Women are entitled to safe abortions. Making them illegal will not stop them - it only makes the desperate seek out the help where they can and is often an unsafe alternative. Ask my great-grandmother.

The Trash Heap has spoken.