Meeting Persephone

Ok. It's not health care but shit happens...

I'm sure we've all been there... A big day (birthday, anniversary, whatever have you) arrives and you receive a gift from someone that isn't really you. In fact, you're looking at the gift wondering if the person who gave it to you knows you at all because the present they've just given you would imply that you may be a perfect stranger to them. You attempt to be gracious because we've all been told "it's the thought that counts". And it is "the thought that counts". When someone loves you and you love them, you are willing to overlook less well thought out choices when it comes to these situations because you assume the best of them and that their intention is to make you happy even if they're not quite hitting the mark. You really believe that it's the thought that counts and that their thoughts of you are of the best quality. In fact some of their bad choices create interesting and humorous memories which may endear them to you even more.

But what about the thoughtlessness? When you've let someone into your life and shared one another's dreams, thoughts, feelings, and desires, made yourselves wholly accessible and vulnerable to each other, been in "it" together through good and bad and yet they shit on you and betray the trust you've established - Doesn't that count too? Are we always required to make excuses for others and sacrifice ourselves for the sake of their self-worth/esteem? What about our self-worth? If we constantly sacrifice our priniciples, dreams, feelings, comfort for others to feel that they're wonderful despite evidence to the contrary, are we doing them or ourselves any favors? At the core - when you trust someone not to do something deliberately that they know would upset you and is directly counter to everything you've requested and even demanded over the years - doesn't that kind of thoughtlessness count?

If one has to assume that the gift of clothing you've been given resembles something more like that which your mother-in-law would wear (and secretly makes you wonder about a potential Oedipus complex) but you graciously accept it because "it's the thought that counts" - can't you also view the complete and utter thoughtlessness of an action as being just that? Thoughtless and mean and absolutely contrary to everything that they know to be fact.

Why are we taught to always assume the best of those in our lives at the expense of ourselves? Why does that make us the better and kinder person - the stronger person? Why are we required to be better, kinder, stronger and the other person is supposed to be permitted to go on their merry way as though everything they do, say, or touch is sunshine and roses? And WHY oh WHY have I insisted on protecting the untarnished reputation of an individual like this even to the detriment of my own reputation/comfort/health???

The Trash Heap has spoken.