Meeting Persephone

When driving through Kansas there is very little to see. There is one fabulously large wind farm that gave me a great deal of pleasure and there is room in that state for a lot more of these farms - we could likely power the whole of the midwest there is THAT much room in Kansas for wind farms.

The other thing that is plentiful as a family is driving through Kansas are these billboards of Jesus. Trust in Jesus. Jesus in wheat (though the jury is still out on this one as it could have also been a portrait of Chad Kroeger among the wheat). Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus! And a smattering of anti-abortion billboards (your parents chose life! Of course I contend that my parents were known to make many mistakes). So as a family is driving through Kansas the boredom becomes overwhelming and you look for things to enterain yourselves. What I am about to tell you is not something I'd do in the company of Christians but there weren't any in the car on Saturday so I was "safe"...

Our long haired chihuahua, Callie (short for Calypso) was feeling antsy and spent a great deal of the trip whining on my lap or that of my daughter. We passed her from front seat to back seat over and over again. She was discontented and there was little to be done about it. After several hours of whining we passed the 2409th billboard of Jesus (we trust in you) billboard. I plucked her up from my lap, showed her the billboard and then placed her back on my lap. I put my hand on her head and shouted "You have been healed by the power of Jayzus and will whine no more!" in my most evangelical voice.

Callie stood on my lap looking from my husband (who was driving), to my daughter, and back to me over and over again. She began trembling and you could tell that she desperately wanted to whine but it was as though she could not! I was gripped with terror and the longest minute and a half of my life began. Mini Me, in her usual fine form, began to encourage Callie to whine by whimpering herself from the backseat. Then hubby chimed in. Callie continued to tremble but uttered not a single thin tone from her tiny throat! I leaned my head down toward hers and listened intently for that all too familiar sound and my husband and daughter erupted into laughter. I slammed by body back against my seat, crossed my arms, and said "FINE! but I am NOT becoming a fucking republican!". At this point we were all laughing hysterically with tears running down my own face.

And then it happened. At first it was slight and almost undetectable but it was there. A whimper from my tiny canine! I was saved!

So I'm still Pagan. It was a near miss but all is still right in my world. The mighty J-man did not cure my dog of her whining and so I need not pledge my unfailing loyalty to him. We escaped the power of the Kansas billboard and have arrived back at home with our nearly normal chihuahua back to her usual tricks. It was a close call! ;o)